Cancun 2017 | By The Numbers

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We just got back from holiday in Cancun. Here's a summary by the numbers.

  • Days gone: 11
  • Minutes stuck in M25 traffic: 50
  • Minutes spent thinking we would miss the flight: 50
  • Minutes to down drinks at airport: 1
  • Upgrades on the flight: 2
  • Hours slept on flight: 4
  • Days the forecast predicted bad weather: 8
  • Days of actual bad weather: 1
  • Minutes spent on my phone’s internet before realising Mexico wasn't in the data package: 0.02
  • Happiness levels when I saw Johnnie Walker Black on the drinks list: 100%
  • Average age of American kids at our hotel getting drunk for the first time: 15
  • No. of times Aimee ordered Orange Juice: 12
  • No. of times Aimee actually got Orange Juice: 4 
  • No. of times American kids ordered Orange Juice instead of alcohol: 0
  • Farthest distance walked along beach: 10KM
  • Iguanas seen: 1 
  • Pelicans seen: 1,000,000
  • Sea Turtles seen laying eggs on the beach: 6
  • Times we wondered if you tip at all inclusive hotels or not: 10
  • Times we left a tip: 1
  • Times we felt bad for not leaving a tip: 9
  • Times we ran back downstairs to leave a tip: 0
  • Bus journeys: 5
  • Safety rating out of 5 for buses: 1
  • Amount of fucks bus drivers give: Zero
  • Near-death bus related incidents: 2
  • Cost of bus: 1 dollar
  • Cost of life: priceless 
  • Tacos eaten: 75+
  • Tacos eaten for breakfast: 35+
  • Tequilas drank: 4
  • Times we said ‘Fuck Tequila’: 400
  • Islands visited: 1
  • Bikini thongs spotted: Infinity 
  • Infinity pools spotted: 3
  • Bikini thongs spotted in infinity pools: 0
  • Most Spanish words Aimee put together in a (semi) coherent sentence: 5
  • Most Spanish words I put together in a (semi) coherent sentence: 2
  • No. of times I said “s’il vous plait” instead of “por favor”: 6
  • Temperature of the Caribbean: 28˚C
  • Times I said "Corr the Caribbean's warm, isn't it": 50+
  • Times Aimee got dunked in Caribbean: 50+
  • Times Aimee got annoyed: 50+
  • Times lifeguard got annoyed: 50+
  • Times I saw somebody reading The Times: 0
  • Days spent googling “Arsenal transfers”: 11
  • Average height of Mexican male: 4’8
  • No. of times we heard ‘Despacito' played: 10000000000000000
  • Mariachi bands watched: 1
  • Mariachi band costume ratings : 10/10
  • No. of times Mariachi band played 'Despacito': 0
  • No. of Mexican people pleased to find out we were English & not American: All of them
  • Upgrades on return flight: 0
  • Hours slept on return flight: 0
  • Films watched on return flight: 3
  • Estimation of days we’ll have holiday blues: 5-10
  • Days before we book another holiday: 5-10